Monday, November 26, 2007

Exclusiva: Personal (Shopper) Jesus

"What Would Jesus Buy?" is the title of a new documentary produced by Morgan Spurlock, designed to portrait the anti-consumerism efforts of an artist to convert people to his "Church of Stop Shopping." Although probably intended as a rhetorical question, the title sparked our curiosity enough to have a brief interview with the original life-savior JC himself, so he could give us some insight into what items made it into his shopping list this season. Here's what we got.

Name: Jesus Of Nazareth
Occupation: Messiah, (also known for his brief stint as a painting model during the Renaissance)
Age: 33
Ethnicity: Jewish, Middle-Eastern.


1) When In Rome, (DVD). Starring Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen.

JC Sez: "I like the Olsen twins. Other people claim to follow my footsteps, but they're the ones who try harder. From the Boho look, to the cult status, to the endless fasting, they really 'nail' it -no pun intended. I also like Rome. I don't know why, but I always feel at home over there."

2) Crocs Clogs.

JC Sez: "Very useful when waking on damp surfaces like, you know, water."

3) SAMPAR Skin Care products.

JC Sez: : "Not for me, though. It's for all those lepers I cured. I feel I kinda owe them. They didn't have to worry about these things before I came along. All I can say to them is 'I can give you back your skin but, daily moisturizing, that's a whole nother issue.' "

4) Cher- The Farewell Tour (DVD)

JC Sez: "I've always sympathized with Cher. We've both achieved success without the help of a last name and we've been around for about the same time. However, I never had a particular interest in her, until this thing kept popping up on my recommendations list. All I did was type that I was 33 and single. Odd."

5) Electric Wood Chipper

JC Sez: "Next time they won't get me, I'll be waiting for them! (Laughs) Just kidding."

PRODUCTS THAT WILL NEVER MAKE IT TO YOUR SHOPPING LIST: "Anything related to The Da Vinci Code. But not because of what they say about me. It's just that Tom Hanks mane. It's just sinful."

Alright, people. These are a few things to keep in mind. After all, His birthday is just around the corner.


Edythe said...

te van a crucificar...

-the lizard queen

DG said...

You're a genius, güey.

Tomi Luka said...

Thanks, 'se hace lo que se puede' :D

Adrián said...

very bueno!!

Carlos said...

We love ya!!