Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Hairism: Exile On No-Mane Street?

A new social phenomenon has taken over the watercooler conversations of sociologist all around the world. (Bear in mind that in the workspaces of sociologists, watercoolers are not a casual meeting point, but they're kept under glass and mantained under strict observation, given the significant social barometer they constitute.) This new phenomenon is that of hairism, which is a form of discrimination against those of individuals who enjoy less hair density (if any) than other people.

Studies have shown McDreamy's magnetic appeal drops dramatically when his hair does.

First symptom was the emergence of an organization called Brothers Against Lack-of-hairers Difamation (B.A.L.D.) This society was formed to stop negative portrayal of hair-impaired people (PC term) in the media. Shorn Blunt, the (hairless) head of this organization points out: "The mainstream media portrayal of follicularly impaired people is always negative. We saw this earlier with action film villains like Lex Luthor and Darth Vader. But now it's even worse. You watch Ironman and you can tell who the bad guys are just because they have no hair." According to Blunt: "They overlook the fact that our people has given so much to the arts and sciences, people like William Shakespeare and Mr. Clean." Recent Britney Spears' bald head episode didn't help matters.

Whether this social trend will take off will remain to be seen but, just in case, John McCain is already looking for a way to incorporate this into his political strategy, claiming "Democrats are not the only ones who can play the minority card."

Side effects: dramatic increase on the research for hair-loss prevention on animals has lead to questionable results.

For more info and moral support visit Balds R US.com

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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Madonna and Tina Turner: Dinosaurs or American Idols?

From the Ticketmaster official site.

Tina Turner... Madonna... Dinosaurs! Click Here To Read More

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Australians demand to have their country relocated.

Australians have taken to the streets, in a massive plea to have their country change its geographical location.

For ages, Australians haven't been very happy with their situation, occupying a spot on the globe which is scientifically referred to as 'the armpit of Earth.' "It sucks not to have a neighboring country" says one unhappy citizen "You see how Venezuela and Colombia, or Iraq and Afghanistan, how much fun they have with each other, and we have been deprived of that experience." Situation only became worse recently after the Spice Girls decided to cancel their concert dates Down Under altogether,but the straw that broke the camel's back was when Madonna announced that she would also skip the country in her upcoming tour. "We're missing all these great concerts, nobody wants to play here because it's too f*cking far!" says one concerned Aussie. As to where they want to be placed, Australians will soon launch a referendum to decide on a new location. "I don't think it will be in North America because, you know, they already have Canada. But it will surely be somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere because there's something so wrong about putting up a Christmas tree in the summer. It has to come to an end." claims a person knowledgeable in the subject. Recent polls say public opinion leans toward 'a nice spot in the Mediterranean or near Africa,' with most people rooting for a spot near Gaza strip , since they've heard it seems to be quite a hot spot. Click Here To Read More