Hairism: Exile On No-Mane Street?

A new social phenomenon has taken over the watercooler conversations of sociologist all around the world. (Bear in mind that in the workspaces of sociologists, watercoolers are not a casual meeting point, but they're kept under glass and mantained under strict observation, given the significant social barometer they constitute.) This new phenomenon is that of hairism, which is a form of discrimination against those of individuals who enjoy less hair density (if any) than other people.


Studies have shown McDreamy's magnetic appeal drops dramatically when his hair does.

First symptom was the emergence of an organization called Brothers Against Lack-of-hairers Difamation (B.A.L.D.) This society was formed to stop negative portrayal of hair-impaired people (PC term) in the media. Shorn Blunt, the (hairless) head of this organization points out: "The mainstream media portrayal of follicularly impaired people is always negative. We saw this earlier with action film villains like Lex Luthor and Darth Vader. But now it's even worse. You watch Ironman and you can tell who the bad guys are just because they have no hair." According to Blunt: "They overlook the fact that our people has given so much to the arts and sciences, people like William Shakespeare and Mr. Clean." Recent Britney Spears' bald head episode didn't help matters.

Whether this social trend will take off will remain to be seen but, just in case, John McCain is already looking for a way to incorporate this into his political strategy, claiming "Democrats are not the only ones who can play the minority card."

Side effects: dramatic increase on the research for hair-loss prevention on animals has lead to questionable results.

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