Bears Consideration

This site dedicated to putting the 'mort' back in 'Mortimer' tells me I'm not alone in nominating him as Most Maleficient Cuddle-Toy of 2007. And please, Britney, stop e-mailing us. We're not going to include Sean Preston Federline in that category. Click Here To Read More

Bad News, Bear

This Just In: Famous cyberhitchhiker Mortimer, the travelling bear, has been kidnapped in Colombia by the FARC guerrilla. Please be kind to share this proof of life with the bear's next of kin. (Tinsley Mortimer?)

Cyberspace is not the place to rely on the kindness of strangers. Click Here To Read More

Weekly News Roundup (Nov. 24-Nov. 30)

- British teacher in Sudan sentenced to prison, possible lashing for letting toddlers name a Teddy bear after Muslim prophet. As for the other parties involved, the kids were penalized with a harsher sentence of no naps for a week and removal of all non-primary color crayon privileges.

- Diplomatic relations between UK and Sudan strained after Teddy bear incident, while angry mob calls for the teacher's execution. However, the 'Muhammed bear' has still a way to go before decrowning Mortimer The Traveling Bear as 2007 Most Maleficient Cuddle Toy.

- Shocking study reveals two thirds of NYU students would up give up their right to vote for a year's tuition, while 20% say an iPhone touch would do. Politicians: don't be discouraged just yet. These people are known to drop their price tag after two beers and a roofie.

- Dutch police arrests teenager for stealing virtual furniture from social networking site. Who could have foreseen that technology would provide with all these brand new venues of crime for OJ Simpson to perpetrate and get acquitted of?

- Canadians' beer drinking habit might be a threat to the environment. Dude, first Celine Dion and now this?.

THIS JUST IN: Study Says Waiting Too Long to Have Sex Linked to Sexual Dysfunction Later in Life. Producers of Porky's, American Pie as well as impatient high school boyfriends everywhere to be presented with medal of honor for selfless services in the field of public health.


Not since the times of Helen of Troy has the world seen so much political turmoil over some dusty 'ol piece of rug. Click Here To Read More