Weekly News Roundup (Dec. 8- Dec. 14)

- Brazilian villagers find 18-foot anaconda. The plus-size snake threatened to damage the careers of big-butted Latin starlets everywhere.

- Several New York Yankees players suspected of using steroids. Who woulda thunk? Loosers are users.

- North Korea responds to personal letter sent by Bush. Response says 'Please, next time no writing with crayons. Thank you.'

- Guns N' Roses lyrics cause teacher to lock self in classroom. And that was before she saw what Axel looks like nowadays.

- Katie Holmes tells magazine what turns Tom on.
Mag's fact checkers still waiting to hear back from John Travolta.