News Roundup, April 22

- US families claim to be forced to pick between gas and food. Thank God there's still Taco Bell which gives you both in one.

- Sony comes up with wafer-thin TV. It's designed to make Vh1's programming look more substantial.

- Michael Bolton, Celine Dion make it to list of top ten most annoying singers. Showbiz moguls from Vegas are ready to contact the rest of winners who don't have a show deal already.

- Hillary connected to Angelina, Madonna by DNA. Sources rushed to clarify they were not talking about Bill's, but her own.

- Former Bush press secretary becomes TV pundit. People thought he was brilliant until they realized they weren't watching Stephen Colbert