Mouth Wide Shut: Worst Movie Dialogue Ever

Entertainment Weekly has a new feature on the Worst Movie Dialogue Ever. IMO I think they skipped a very few good candidates. Here's my list of snubs in that category:

"It's turkey time. Gobble, gobble."
-Ricki (Jennifer Lopez) as she tries to seduce Larry (Ben Affleck) in Gigli.

"We ask ourselves, is she black? Is she white? We don't care. She's exotic. I want to see more of her breasts."
-A video director as he works the set for Billie's (Mariah Carey) video in Glitter.

"The glitter must not overpower the artist!" See movie above.

"Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!"
-King Leonidas' motivational/nutrition-conscious speech in (Gerard Butler) in 300.

Dr. Sarah Taylor (Rebecca De Mornay): Mr. Ramirez, my mother taught me never to talk to strangers.
Tony Ramirez (Antonio Banderas): If you never talk to strangers, you'll never meet anyone new.
From Never Talk To Strangers.

"The Buddhist have a saying, 'If you meet your master on the road, kill him.' "
-Zen-like serial killer in the aforementioned movie.

"I am Ripper... Tearer... Slasher... I am the Teeth in the Darkness, the Talons in the Night. Mine is Strength... and Lust... and Power! I AM BEOWULF!"
-Frustrated Spartan Beowulf (Ray Winston) in Beowulf.

"Yes, I'd love to do this movie"
-Words spoken off-camera by Rob Scnheider before any of his movies.

What do you think, Güey Watchers? Do you have any additions you'd like to make to this list in the comments section? I know you do... Click Here To Read More

Weekly News Roundup (Jan 20-27)

- Study finds false statements led to Iraq war. C'mon, we all know it was all Jon Stewart's ploy to ensure a presidential term's worth of material.

- Bin Laden's son out to bring peace, wants to meet with President Bush. Request to skip metal detector raises suspicion.

- $20 dollar bill found next to Heath's Ledger's body. This is New York. Whatever you do, don't leave without tipping.

- Lenny Kraviz says he's been celibate for the last three years. Seriously, what does dating Nicole Kidman do to people?

- 'Cloverfield' making moviegoers feel sick. People had to watch it twice to make sure Mariah Carey's not in it. Click Here To Read More

No, Güey!

A little 'eye candy' for our bilingual readers.




From here. Click Here To Read More

Rat said what?

Thanks for Bob Andelman (a.k.a. Mr. Media) for pointing me in the direction of his very interesting interview with Güey Watcher's unofficial illustrator Stephan Pastis. Here's a bit I found interesting.

ANDELMAN: Stephan, Messieur LaChase in the chat room has a question that kind of fits with what you were just saying. Have you ever had to substitute a strip because of a taste issue or a news event?

PASTIS: It’s happened a lot of times. One time early on Rat ran for Senate or something against a guy who had died. And right in the middle of that storyline, a Senator from, I think, Minnesota died in a plane crash.

ANDELMAN: I think you’re right.

PASTIS: I can’t remember his name right now, and I think his name stayed on the ballot. And so, boy, that had to be pulled at the last minute because readers don’t understand that these are submitted weeks in advance. So that can create a bad situation. So, yeah, those were pulled. There was one where Pig was playing in the dryer once spinning around, and that week, I think some kids had been killed or shoved in a dryer or something like that, and so that was pulled for half the country. Yeah, that does happen. One really, really unfortunate one that, boy, had the timing been a little different would have just been horrible was I had a strip where the Crocs were rooting for the death of “The Crocodile Hunter,” Steve Irwin, cause his voice drove them crazy, and then three months later he was killed. Man, if that had run that week, I think that would’ve been the end of me.

ANDELMAN: Oh my goodness.

PASTIS: Yeah, it happens quite a lot.

Click here for the rest of the interview.


Pastis' Family Circle Click Here To Read More

New York Post Mortem

The jury's still out on what caused Heath Ledger's death. However, I found this very interesting note on how Ambien, Ledger's sleeping pill of choice, has caused a lot of controversy in his native Australia. On the side effects brought on by this pill, the newspaper says:

Some 500 people described odd behaviours from walking, crashing cars, having sex and falling from balconies after popping a pill.

One patient gained 23 kilograms over seven months after unknowingly eating from the refrigerator while asleep. Another patient woke up with a paintbrush in her hand after painting the front door.

This seems to be a pretty popular drug in the US, but no one seems to be making a fuss about its side effects. Could it be a greater PR muscle form the drug companies, or are these side effects just particular to Australians? Click Here To Read More

Ennis Has Left The Building.

Among the sad turnmoil surrounding Heath Ledger's demise, one thing calls my attention: this oh-so-New-Yorkish bit from the NYT:

The building at 421 Broome Street was sold for $4.8 million in 1999 by Ho Hwa Properties Inc. to Red Tulip, L.L.C. Calls to a phone number listed for Junia Hissa Neiva, a Brazilian painter who is listed as an owner of Red Tulip and of the building, went to an answering machine that was full and could not accept new messages.

It's as if Manhattanites had only waited the minimum necessary to start with real estate quandaries: "Yes, he's dead but, how much was his lease?," "Poor kid... so.. er... when's the open house?"

I mean, is it relevant to young thesp's death if the apartment was owned by Mary-Kate Olsen or not?

Ah, NY's obsession with realty. We wish we knew how to quit it.



Red pill, blue pill?

... Click Here To Read More

Complete List Of Academy Award Nominations

BEST MOTION PICTURE OF THE YEAR

"Atonement" (Focus Features) A Working Title Production: Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner and Paul Webster, Producers

"Juno" (Fox Searchlight) A Dancing Elk Pictures, LLC Production: Lianne Halfon, Mason Novick and Russell Smith, Producers

"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.) A Clayton Productions, LLC Production: Sydney Pollack, Jennifer Fox and Kerry Orent, Producers *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers

"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax) A JoAnne Sellar/Ghoulardi Film Company Production: JoAnne Sellar, Paul Thomas Anderson and Daniel Lupi, Producers

*GUEYWATCHER BONUS NOMINEE* "Once" (Bórd Scannán na hÉireann, Radio Telefís Éireann (RTE) (in association with) Samson Films, Summit Entertainment)

ACHIEVEMENT IN DIRECTING

"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Julian Schnabel *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

"Juno" (Fox Searchlight), Jason Reitman

"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.), Tony Gilroy

"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen

"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Paul Thomas Anderson

*GUEYWATCHER BONUS NOMINEE* "Once" James Carney


PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

George Clooney in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)

Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax) *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)

Tommy Lee Jones in "In the Valley of Elah" (Warner Independent)

Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises" (Focus Features)

*GUEYWATCHER BONUS NOMINEE* Mathieu Amalric in "The Diving Bell and The Butterfly"


PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Casey Affleck in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" (Warner Bros.)

Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Charlie Wilson's War" (Universal)

Hal Holbrook in "Into the Wild" (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment)

Tom Wilkinson in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)


PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Cate Blanchett in "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" (Universal)

Julie Christie in "Away from Her" (Lionsgate)

Marion Cotillard in "La Vie en Rose" (Picturehouse) *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

Laura Linney in "The Savages" (Fox Searchlight)

Ellen Page in "Juno" (Fox Searchlight)

*GUEYWATCHER BONUS NOMINEE*Amy Adams in "Enchanted" (Disney)


PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There" (The Weinstein Company)

Ruby Dee in "American Gangster" (Universal)

Saoirse Ronan in "Atonement" (Focus Features)

Amy Ryan in "Gone Baby Gone" (Miramax) *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

Tilda Swinton in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)


ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

"Atonement" (Focus Features), Screenplay by Christopher Hampton

"Away from Her" (Lionsgate), Written by Sarah Polley

"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Screenplay by Ronald Harwood *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen

"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson


ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

"Juno" (Fox Searchlight), Written by Diablo Cody

"Lars and the Real Girl" (MGM), Written by Nancy Oliver

"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.), Written by Tony Gilroy *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Brad Bird; Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird

"The Savages" (Fox Searchlight), Written by Tamara Jenkins

*GUEYWATCHER BONUS NOMINEE* "The Orphanage" Written by Sergio G. Sánchez


BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM OF THE YEAR

"Persepolis" (Sony Pictures Classics): Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud

"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney): Brad Bird *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

"Surf's Up" (Sony Pictures Releasing): Ash Brannon and Chris Buck


ACHIEVEMENT IN ART DIRECTION

"American Gangster" (Universal): Art Direction: Arthur Max; Set Decoration: Beth A. Rubino

"Atonement" (Focus Features): Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer

"The Golden Compass" (New Line in association with Ingenious Film Partners): Art Direction: Dennis Gassner; Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock

"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount): Art Direction: Dante Ferretti; Set Decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Art Direction: Jack Fisk; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson


ACHIEVEMENT IN CINEMATOGRAPHY

"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" (Warner Bros.): Roger Deakins

"Atonement" (Focus Features): Seamus McGarvey

"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Pathé Renn): Janusz Kaminski *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Roger Deakins

"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Robert Elswit

*GUEYWATCHER BONUS NOMINEE* "The Orphanage" Óscar Faura


ACHIEVEMENT IN COSTUME DESIGN

"Across the Universe" (Sony Pictures Releasing) Albert Wolsky

"Atonement" (Focus Features) Jacqueline Durran

"Elizabeth: The Golden Age" (Universal) Alexandra Byrne

"La Vie en Rose" (Picturehouse) Marit Allen

"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount) Colleen Atwood *GUEYWATCHER PICK*


BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

"No End in Sight" (Magnolia Pictures) A Representational Pictures Production: Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs

"Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience" (The Documentary Group) A Documentary Group Production: Richard E. Robbins

"Sicko" (Lionsgate and The Weinstein Company) A Dog Eat Dog Films Production: Michael Moore and Meghan O'Hara *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

"Taxi to the Dark Side" (THINKFilm) An X-Ray Production: Alex Gibney and Eva Orner

"War/Dance" (THINKFilm) A Shine Global and Fine Films Production: Andrea Nix Fine and Sean Fine


BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT

"Freeheld" A Lieutenant Films Production: Cynthia Wade and Vanessa Roth

"La Corona (The Crown)" A Runaway Films and Vega Films Production: Amanda Micheli and Isabel Vega

"Salim Baba" A Ropa Vieja Films and Paradox Smoke Production: Tim Sternberg and Francisco Bello

"Sari's Mother" (Cinema Guild) A Daylight Factory Production: James Longley


ACHIEVEMENT IN FILM EDITING

"The Bourne Ultimatum" (Universal): Christopher Rouse *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Pathé Renn): Juliette Welfling

"Into the Wild" (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment): Jay Cassidy

"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) Roderick Jaynes

"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Dylan Tichenor


BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM OF THE YEAR

"Beaufort" Israel

"The Counterfeiters" Austria

"Katyn" Poland

"Mongol" Kazakhstan

"12" Russia

*GUEYWATCHER BONUS NOMINEE* "The Orphanage" Spain


ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKEUP

"La Vie en Rose" (Picturehouse) Didier Lavergne and Jan Archibald

"Norbit" (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount): Rick Baker and Kazuhiro Tsuji

"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" (Walt Disney): Ve Neill and Martin Samuel

ACHIEVEMENT IN MUSIC WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURES (ORIGINAL SCORE)

"Atonement" (Focus Features) Dario Marianelli

"The Kite Runner" (DreamWorks, Sidney Kimmel Entertainment and Participant Productions, Distributed by Paramount Classics): Alberto Iglesias

"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.) James Newton Howard

"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney) Michael Giacchino

"3:10 to Yuma" (Lionsgate) Marco Beltrami


ACHIEVEMENT IN MUSIC WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURES (ORIGINAL SONG)

"Falling Slowly" from "Once" (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

"Happy Working Song" from "Enchanted" (Walt Disney): Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz

"Raise It Up" from "August Rush" (Warner Bros.): Nominees to be determined

"So Close" from "Enchanted" (Walt Disney): Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz

"That's How You Know" from "Enchanted" (Walt Disney): Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz


BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM

"I Met the Walrus" A Kids & Explosions Production: Josh Raskin

"Madame Tutli-Putli" (National Film Board of Canada) A National Film Board of Canada Production Chris Lavis and Maciek Szczerbowski

"Même Les Pigeons Vont au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven)" (Premium Films) A BUF Compagnie Production Samuel Tourneux and Simon Vanesse

"My Love (Moya Lyubov)" (Channel One Russia) A Dago-Film Studio, Channel One Russia and Dentsu Tec Production Alexander Petrov

"Peter & the Wolf" (BreakThru Films) A BreakThru Films/Se-ma-for Studios Production Suzie Templeton and Hugh Welchman


BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM

"At Night" A Zentropa Entertainments 10 Production: Christian E. Christiansen and Louise Vesth

"Il Supplente (The Substitute)" (Sky Cinema Italia) A Frame by Frame Italia Production: Andrea Jublin

"Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)" (Premium Films) A Karé Production: Philippe Pollet-Villard

"Tanghi Argentini" (Premium Films) An Another Dimension of an Idea Production: Guido Thys and Anja Daelemans

"The Tonto Woman" A Knucklehead, Little Mo and Rose Hackney Barber Production: Daniel Barber and Matthew Brown


ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND EDITING

"The Bourne Ultimatum" (Universal): Karen Baker Landers and Per Hallberg

"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Skip Lievsay *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney): Randy Thom and Michael Silvers

"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Matthew Wood

"Transformers" (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro): Ethan Van der Ryn and Mike Hopkins

ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND MIXING

"The Bourne Ultimatum" (Universal) Scott Millan, David Parker and Kirk Francis

"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff and Peter Kurland *GUEYWATCHER PICK*

"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney): Randy Thom, Michael Semanick and Doc Kane

"3:10 to Yuma" (Lionsgate): Paul Massey, David Giammarco and Jim Stuebe

"Transformers" (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro): Kevin O'Connell, Greg P. Russell and Peter J. Devlin


ACHIEVEMENT IN VISUAL EFFECTS

"The Golden Compass" (New Line in association with Ingenious Film Partners): Michael Fink, Bill Westenhofer, Ben Morris and Trevor Wood

"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" (Walt Disney): John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and John Frazier

"Transformers" (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro): Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Russell Earl and John Frazier *GUEYWATCHER PICK* Click Here To Read More

"This plane will indeed hit the White House."

Hill is out to prove that she can make things take off without a cock pit.


" Oh stewardess! I speak jive."

(*) The caption is a quote from the 1980 film Airplane! Any similarities to the current political landscape are unintentional and pure coincidence. Click Here To Read More

Take me to your leader.

This clip might not be suitable for Xenu-phobics. When I saw it thought the sloppy editing and the bizarro Mission Impossible riff were such cheap shots to make him seem like he was babbling, but then I realized this video was edited by Scientologists themselves! So without more fanfare, the Tom Cruise indoctrination video the Scientologists don't want you to see.

Enjoy! Click Here To Read More

Weekly News Roundup (Jan 6- Jan. 13)

- Al-Qaida uses women as suicide attackers. Osama reportedly happy to mock "them poor Americans with their woman President candidate, thinking they're at the forefront of gender equality. Haha."

- Twins who were separated at birth got married, had marriage anulled. It's a shame the rules of the world had to come and dissolve this beautiful, moving tale of unadulterated narcissism.

- Clooney and Spielberg to step in and attempt to re-ignite WGA strike talks. Clooney will walk in with a conveniently disheveled tuxedo and talk them into a sequel to The Good German. It can't go wrong.

- Britney Spears steps out in wedding dress. She's trying to cut corners in her usually sluggish path to the altar.

- Hundreds travel pantless for annual No Pants Subway Ride. So now you know what it means when the PA says to watch out for a 'suspicious package'.


Strap hangin'

... Click Here To Read More

For Your Consideration

If you're a member of the Academy, don't forget this little flick that did so much for the movie musical this year. I don't want to put it in my Mausoleum of the Snubbed along with Tristram Shandy and Duck Season Click Here To Read More

Strike One

Courtesy of Creative Screenwriting Magazine:

Two Months In: The Past 30 Days in Review

By Peter Clines

Submitted for your approval is the ongoing list of major events from the picket lines and the negotiating rooms. As before, there's also a few announcements and incidents that weren't linked to the strike when they happened, but probably should've been.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007-The Sundance Film Festival announces the 83 short films that have been selected to air both at the festival itself and also as video downloads through iTunes. Sundance's online producer, Joe Beyer, notes that all filmmakers will be paid for such downloads, and that some of last year's contributors have made "tens of thousands of dollars."

Dec. 6-The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers announces it has hired political spin doctors Mark Fabiani and Chris Lehane to handle publicity during the strike. Fabiani and Lehane, who worked for President Clinton and Vice President Gore, among others, are known by the nickname "Masters of Disaster," a nod to their aggressive attacks on opponents.

Dec. 7-Strike talks break down again. The AMPTP refuses to alter their previous proposal and also issues a list of demands, insisting there will be no negotiations unless the Writers Guild of America takes a number of proposals off the table. Guild negotiators reject this ultimatum and begin to prepare yet another counter-offer. When Nick Counter is told their demands will not be met, the producers again walk away from negotiations. Within minutes, the AMPTP issues a press release saying the WGA has derailed negotiations with its "unreasonable demands."

Also on this day, more than 400 fans of the Joss Whedon series Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Firefly rally at the 20th Century Fox lot with Whedon and regular writers Marti Noxon, David Fury, and Tim Minear, among several others. Also present are many of Whedon's regular cast members, including Eliza Dushku, Nicholas Brendan, and Nathan Fillion.

Dec. 8-In the online virtual reality game Second Life, the NBC "island" is picketed for over an hour by a collection of avatars wielding red-and-black WGA strike signs.

Dec. 9-Approximately 500 "below-the-line" crew people, mostly International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees members, hold a rally urging the AMPTP and WGA to keep negotiating. Many of the marchers interviewed blame the writers for striking rather than the producers for leaving the negotiating table. This march receives far more network media coverage than either of the WGA rallies, which had 10 times the attendance.

Monday, Dec. 10-The AMPTP posts a rolling monetary counter on their website to show how much writers have lost in combined salaries since the strike began, attempting to prove the strike is financially unsound. When it is posted, the counter already reads over $100 million.

Also on this day, reports reveal that NBC has been reimbursing advertisers because of the extreme slump in ratings, returning as much as $500,000 per client. One media buyer is quoted as saying "They got greedy, and now they are paying the price."

Dec. 11-The first boxes of pencils are delivered as part of the "Pencils2Media Moguls" project. Two laundry carts containing more than 150,000 pencils are delivered to NBC by Ron Moore, Joss Whedon, and other writers (and refused at the gate). The WGA then offers to donate all the pencils to children's charities.

Also on this day, DailyKos.com reports that the Fabiani & Lehane publicity firm has been fired by a number of union clients, including a group representing the Teamsters.

Dec. 12-Nominations are announced for the WGA Awards. Leading the pack are Dexter, Friday Night Lights, Lost, The Simpsons, Pushing Daisies, The Office, and 30 Rock, all of which have shut down due to the writer's strike.

Also on this day, the details of CBS Inc. chief executive Les Moonves' new contract become public. The CEO will receive a $3.5 million annual salary, a $10.5 million "target bonus," an annual grant of free shares worth up to $7.6 million, and an option covering 5 million shares that could be worth as much as another $57 million annually. Under the terms of the financial plan put forward by the WGA (and rejected by the AMPTP negotiators), CBS Inc. would only pay writers an additional $4.7 million per year.

Dec. 13-The WGA files a complaint with the National Labor Relations Board, claiming the AMPTP is breaking federal law by issuing ultimatums and breaking off negotiations when the demands are not met.

Also on this day, Paramount Pictures, in partnership with MTV, announces it will release Jackass 2.5 not in theatres, but as a broadband internet release. Thomas Lesinski, the president of Paramount Pictures Digital Entertainment, explains in the press release that the movie will make money from online embedded ads, video downloads, and DVD sales.

Dec. 14-Despite the wishes of showrunner (and WGA negotiator) Carlton Cuse, ABC announces it will begin to air new episodes of Lost in January. Cuse had voiced hopes the network would wait and not air an incomplete season. Lost is one of only two non-reality shows being added to ABC's spring schedule, the other being Cashmere Mafia.

Also on this day, the Write Aid Concert is held to raise funds for health and financial services to all entertainment industry professionals affected by the strike. Headliners include Eddie Izzard, Patton Oswalt, Sarah Silverman, and the band Tenacious D (featuring Jack Black and Kyle Gass).

Dec. 16-Screen Actors Guild President Alan Rosenberg releases a solidarity letter, once again pledging the actors' support of the WGA strike and the writers.

Monday Dec. 17-Tired of stonewalling from the AMPTP's negotiators, the WGA announces it will gladly broker deals independently with studios. The guild also rejects a waiver request from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for its NBC broadcast of the Golden Globes awards show, explaining that a televised event only serves as advertising and ad revenue for studio products.

Also on this day, NBC announces that both Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien will begin airing new shows starting January 2.

Dec. 18-ABC announces that Jimmy Kimmel with return to the air on January 2.

Dec. 19-A USA Today/Gallup poll shows that 60 percent of Americans support the writers. Over a third of those polled say they are watching less television because of the strike.

Dec. 20-The Los Angeles City Council holds a meeting to assess the financial damage the strike is having on the film industry and the L.A. economy as a whole. Several hundred members of the WGA show up to listen and speak before the committee. The AMPTP is invited, but does not attend the meeting. The Motion Picture Association of America enters a statement into the meeting records on the producers' behalf, but also does not attend.

Dec. 21-The WGA announces it has entered negotiations with World Wide Pants, David Letterman's production company, for an independent contract.

Dec. 22-Amazon.com sends out a general email blast reminding customers that Amazon Unbox (a digital download service for movies) can be delivered instantly and makes a great last-minute holiday gift.

Dec. 26-Apple announces a deal with 20th Century Fox to rent online movies via timed-expiration digital downloads to view on PCs or video iPods.

Dec. 27-The American Film Institute names its "2007 Moments of Significance." The number one item on the list is the WGA strike. The next is the release of the iPhone, which allows people to download or stream movies and television shows.

Dec. 28-The AMPTP announces on its website that its financial counter has passed the critical mark, and that writers have now lost more money than they were asking for in negotiations. The producers' organization also adds a second counter showing what the strike is theoretically costing below-the-line IATSE crew members. How this second number is reached is only vaguely clarified.

Also on this day, the WGA announces an agreement with World Wide Pants. The production company agrees to the full deal proposed by the guild and rejected by the AMPTP negotiators.

Monday, Dec. 31-NBC insists it will still air the Golden Globes, despite the threat of WGA pickets and a possible boycott by actors who support the strike

January 1, 2008-Battlestar Galactica fans pay for a series of skywriting messages over the Rose Bowl parade. Five planes draw out four different pro-WGA messages in the air while teams in the crowd hand out flyers.

Jan. 2-Universal Pictures announces that 2007 was the most profitable year in the studio's century-long history, grossing $2.7 billion in U.S. home video sales alone. Worldwide theatrical releases total over $2.1 billion. Under the terms of the financial plan put forward by the WGA (and rejected by the AMPTP negotiators), Universal would only pay writers an additional $7.4 million per year.


Also on this day, the majority of the late night talk show hosts return, Letterman and Craig Ferguson being the only ones with a WGA contract. Letterman and O'Brien both sport beards, having refused to shave until the strike ends. Leno does a short monologue, a Q&A with his audience, and his featured guest is presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, who claims to be a union supporter. Letterman returns amidst showgirls sporting picket signs and has his top 10 list of "writer's demands" delivered by striking writers. O'Brien finds a number of ways to eat up time on the air without actually doing anything, most notably attempting to beat his personal best time for spinning his wedding ring (41 seconds). At the end of the night, the Letterman writers decide to donate a percentage of their salaries to the WGA strike fund.

Jan. 3-Debate breaks out between the WGA, NBC, and Jay Leno as to whether or not Leno violated strike rules by writing his own monologue. Letterman discusses the strike again that evening and mocks Huckabee for crossing picket lines.

Jan. 4-SAG announces that actors will not cross the WGA picket lines to participate in the Golden Globes awards ceremony. NBC insists the event will still go ahead as planned.

As the strike drags on into its third month, a faint light is visible in the form of independent deals that bypass the AMPTP's negotiating team. While this article was being prepared, deals were announced with United Artists (the studio also agreed to the WGA's full proposal) and the Weinstein Co., and rumors are circulating about a similar deal with Lionsgate. Alas, such a deal was not reached with the Golden Globes, as NBC remained firm that, under contract, the ceremony could only proceed if it was broadcast. The awards show was cancelled, costing the network millions in ad revenue and causing an as-yet unknown ripple through the L.A. community of party planners, limousine drivers, and other related industries.

All of us at Creative Screenwriting continue to hope a 90-day update will not be necessary.

Click Here To Read More

Feeding back... my own words

I think I owe an apology to Ms. Jackson for my earlier 'Feedback' dis. Not that now I think the song is amazing, but it has kinda grown on me. But I do think the video is quite cool. Directed by Saam Farahmand, the man behind New Young Pony Club's Ice Cream and Simian Mobile Disco's Hustler



Click Here To Read More

ProcrasTV: Acceptable in the 80's

Sometimes, in the midst of all these fascination with the 80's, this retro spirit that never seems to go away, it's kind of refreshing to see this kind of spoofs, which remind us that not everything was glam and new wave in those days.

Here's one from 'How I Met Your Mother'


Breakdance at Tiffany's

And another one from SNL


Cheese a maniac Click Here To Read More

Weekly News Roundup (Dec. 29- Jan. 5)

- Leno back on the air sans scribes. Puhleeze. That jawline alone can spawn a month's worth of punchlines.

- Britney hospitalized, ditched by lawyers. Inspired by Leno's example, Britney proceeds to continue sparking comedy without writers.

- Hillary finishes third on Iowa cacus, retooling strategy in NH. A 'big black woman' latex suit is being made for the ocasion.

- Man falls from Manhattan skyscraper, lives to tell the horror.On the downside, the building was taken off The Suicidal Traveler's Top Ten Hot Spots list.

- Women stuck 2 days in elevator Felt sense of relief when they finally made it all the way to the top of Dolly Parton's wig.

THIS JUST IN:
- Friends Stand Up For Saudi Jailed Blogger. Unlike, you know, other blogger's friends who would leave him abandoned with a demented Chinese prostitute in a Thai prison after a horrible misunderstanding involving such blogger's ignorance of the country's sodomy laws. You bastards! You will rue the day!! I mean, huh? Click Here To Read More

Guey Awards: Comeback Kid

This might be one of the coolest comebacks I've seen recently. The song is quite nice as well.


This lady, on the other hand, is in desperate need of a comeback vehicle. Or maybe some kind of vehicle to bring her back... home to Minnesota.

Click Here To Read More

Mother Puss and Posh Mice

"Who moved my cheese? Oh, well, I'll nurse on this cat instead."



One thing comes to mind: Another unsuspecting baby to send over to Kevin Federline.

Image from Boy Culture. Click Here To Read More

Happy New Year!

Click Here To Read More